I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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