Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
