In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
