the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
