I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
