I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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