fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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