It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
And then he peed in my hair
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