hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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