Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
