Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
