So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
