plz talk dirty to me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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