remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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