So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
