Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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