I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
