i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
