Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
