and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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