just tell him i said nine months
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
