I cockslap morals
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
