we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
