Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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