i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
