Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
