Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
