atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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