Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
