Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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