Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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