I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
