I didn't shave. On purpose
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
