WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
