the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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