it's too hot outside to masturbate.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
