I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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