she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
