who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
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