How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why do cheetos always look like penises
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
