It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
where are my eyebrows?
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