she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
