...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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