well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I love you. Go after that dick
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
