He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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