Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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