She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
