They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
where am i from again
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
