He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
