So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Let's paint friendship bongs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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