what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
