Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There r osticjed everywhere
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
