why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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