I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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