got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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